Listening to Each Other on the Topic of Transforming Conflict

In small groups, using our deep listening guidelines, UU members and friends will weigh in on the subject of the previous Sunday’s service—Transforming Conflict.
These questions are offered as possible springboards for conversation: What has been your personal pattern of responding to conflict? How and where in your body do you feel conflict? If you’ve experienced a conflict that went particularly bad, do you think you know why? If you’ve experienced a conflict that turned out well, do you know why? The underlying topic for all our small-group conversations is deep listening—a practice that takes practice.


  • Refrain from interruptions, cross-talk, side conversations, or advice-giving.
  • Speak from your own experience. (Use “I” statements.)
  • Please silence or turn off all devices.
  • Go around the circle. (Do not “popcorn.”) You may pass if you’re not ready to speak. You’ll have another opportunity to speak once the circle is complete.
  • Let people know when you’re done speaking by saying, “Thank you.”
  • The whole group takes a slow, deep breath after each speaker concludes.
  • Share the air time. Keep your comments within 3 minutes.
  • Confidentiality: Hold what your circle-mates say with care. You may talk about the content of the conversation, but be sure to keep the sources anonymous.